What you see, is what you get

My listening profile says:    I am people - oriented.  We were all in agreement of this assessment.


 Others say:  I communicate comfortably in most situations and feel confident in anticipating such encounters. (By the way, this is not a picture of me.  I just liked her smile).
My daughter was one of my evaluators.  She knows me better than just about anybody.  She, as well as one of my colleagues said I exude confidence in my communication.

  I know that I do have mild anxiety and feel uneasy in some situations.  I try hard not to let it show and that may be the reason others don't see it.



I  have a moderately agressive communication style.  I always attempt  to argue my points fairly because, as we discussed earlier, I use the Platinum Rule (Milton 1998).  Everyone agreed with that assessment of me.



To summarize, we were in agreement with each other looking at the results of the surveys.  I was surprised that I scored myself lower on the verbal agressiveness scale.  All were in the moderate level but I see myself as less aggresive than my two assesors. 

I find this survey affirmed that I am authentic in most of my interactions with family, friends and the public. Basically, what you see is what you get.


Please enjoy the following song;



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Reference

Bennett, M.J. (1998).  Overcoming the Golden Rule:  Sympathy and Empathy.  Basic concepts in
          intercultural communication  Yarmouth, ME:  Intercultural Press

Communicating Differently

We communicate differently in the various arenas in which we find ourselves.

 When we are communicating with our significant others  casually, we may use empathetic listening skills (O'Hair & Wiemann 2009).


 Babies listen with their eyes (O'Hair & Wiemann 2009).  Words are yet to have meaning so they watch how we are communicating with them.  This is a skill we use less as we get older.


 There are times when communicating with other cultures can be difficult.  We must be other oriented (Gonzalez-Mena 2010).  We need to learn how to better relate to other (Gonzalez-Mena 2010).

 The Three strategies I will use from what I learned this week are:

• Listen with my eyes (O'Hair & Wiemann 2009) 

• Pay better attention to nonverbal communication (O'Hair & Wiemann 2009) 

• Adjust to differences (O'Hair & Wiemann 2009)  by providing communication in languages families understand.

References
Gonzalez-Mena, J.(2010).  50 stratigies for communicating and working with diverse families.
      Upper Saddle River, NJ:  Pearson Education, Inc.  
O'Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real Communication An Introduction  Boston, MA:
     Bedford/St. Martin's

"The View" (ABC 2012) and What I viewed

I rarely watch television during the day but I have heard "The View" (ABC 2012) is a good show.  I chose to record the show to observe the communication dynamics of the cast.  The participants on the day I recorded the show were:

 Sherri Shepherd   Joy Behar   Elisabeth Hasselbeck

 Whoopi Goldberg

Barbara Walters is also a member of the cast however she was absent the day this was recorded.

   I recorded a segment called "Hot Topics".  The beginning of the show starts with conversations about subjects that interest the public.  With the sound off I observed the following:

• Sherri was saying something
• Whoopi lifted her hand toward Sherri, who stopped speaking and Whoopi said something.
• The camera focused on Whoopi's face, who looked angry.
• Elisabeth started speaking and as she spoke, she tapped her index finger on the table.  She leaned forward and moved her eyes from one cast member to the other. Elisabeth looked angry.
• Joy was shaking her head while Elisabeth was talking.  Joy crossed her arms in front of her chest and leaned back from the table.  Joy looked upset.
• Whoopi raised both arms in front of her gesturing towards Sherri.
• Sherri smiled and said something.  Sherri looked happy.

In silence, the exchanges looked heated and volatile.  The cast members seemed to be angry with each other.

When I listened to the conversation, some of my assumptions were valid and some were not.

The "Hot Topic" was politically based, making the content of the message important to the listeners (O'Hair,  Friedrich & Dixon, 2011), which can stir the passions of  people less outspoken than this group.
They were discussing how Gov. Mitt Romney's statement about firing people was taken out of context.

• Sherri was asking how they felt about the statement when Whoopi interrupted her in mid sentence.
• Whoopi was angry that the statement had been taken out of context.
• Elisabeth was making points, as she tapped the table on the good things Gov. Romney had accomplished.
• Joy was upset that someone running to be a candidate for the Presidency would even say anything abut firing people in these economic times.
• Whoopi acknowledged she had interrupted Sherri before she finished her thought and tossed the conversation back to her, which made her smile.

There is a close relationship between these women.  They are passionate and outspoken and they respect each other.  I didn't observe cues showing disrespect or ineffective listening (O'Hair., Friedrich& Dixon, 2011).
  There were no side conversations, rolling of eyes, or making "light" of something one of them stated.  They listened intently and responded appropriately, demonstrating they heard what was being said.  I learned that what may look like an argument between people in a group may be a passionate exchange of ideas and thoughts when you actually listen.  Tone doesn't always indicate intent.

References

O'Hair, D. Friedrich, G.W. & Dixon, L.D. (2011).  Strategic communication in business and the professions.  Boston, MA:  Allyn & Bacon

Walters, B. (Executive Producer). (2012). "The View" (Television program) Season 15 Episode 0112
January 9, 2012 New York:  American Broadcasting Channel

The Competent Communicator

As the day approaches to commemorate and celebrate what would have been his 83rd birthday, I have chosen Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. as The Competent Communicator.



Dr. King was a highly educated man.  A man who was esteemed throughout the world and he could communicate clearly and concisely to the masses.


                                                     


He was thoughtful, appropriate and effective in his communication.  He had behavioral flexibility and was process oriented.  Dr. King could talk to celebrities, the President of the United States, Congressional committees and the average man on the street. 

                                                 

  

Dr. King displayed a commitment to the National Communication Associations Credo for Ethical Communication however; the one credo we all know he embraced most was the one that states, "We are committed to the courageous expression of personal convictions in pursuit of fairness and justice."   

                                                        

  

He not only communicated competently through oration he communicated competently through his writings.  I encourage everyone to read "Letter from a Birmingham Jail".  He elicits power and emotion, many will never be able to do, through this form of communication.




Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., The Competent Communicator

References

O'Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. (2009).  Real Communication An Introduction Boston, MA:  Bedford?St. Martin's

King, M.L. (1963).  Letter from a Birmingham (2011, November 13). In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 23:12, January 7, 2012, from http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Letter_from_Birmingham_Jail&oldid=460389735