My Connections with Play

Yeah, Daddy, Mama, Curty and I are on our way to the lake.  Daddy promised, last week that we were going and now we are on our way.  I remembered to bring Candy, my doll, because she likes to go everywhere with me.  Mama made sure to put some paper and crayons in our "work bag" as well as some puzzles to keep us occupied during our car trip to the lake.  My brother kept digging in the bag looking for  his little drum and his drumsticks.  He loves playing his instrument, but it hurts my ears.  Now we have to stop because Curty didn't use the bathroom before we left the house and he's wiggling and saying, "Mama, I've got to go". BOYS!!! I start drawing and coloring a picture of the lake to help the time go faster and say, "Daddy, are we there yet"?

                                                                                                                

 

We're here, we're here.  I know I'm only 5 but it seems like it took a long time to get here.  When I grow up, I'm going to drive fast so that I can get to places quickly.  Daddy is unpacking the car, Mama is helping us get out and she's telling Curty to wait to get his sailboat out of our "work bag" until we get to the water.  I wrap Candy up so she doesn't get cold and I whisper in her ear that we are going to have so much fun today.

Daddy opens the cooler and starts pulling the hot dogs and burgers we'll have for lunch out, to grill.  I ask Mama if she'll play with me but she says she has to help Daddy right now.  She says she will play later and to go play with Curty.  We have to play with our puzzles until Mama or Daddy can come to the water with us, so we pull them out and sit at the picnic table and start putting them together.  The puzzles were kind of hard because there are 4 puzzles and the pieces fell out into our bag. We have to figure out which piece goes with which puzzle.  Mama gave us hints, like, " That looks like a wheel, which puzzle has wheels?"  I had to think for a minute and then I remember the car puzzle.  Curty is really fast he found all the pieces to the bird puzzle and put it together.  It only had 3 pieces, the head, the body and the feet and Mama clapped her hands and told him he did a great job! 
When we finished all the puzzles, I dug out my sand bucket, shovel and rake.  Mama was ready to go to the water and my brother grabbed his sailboat.  We ran as fast as we could with Mama yelling, "slow down, I can't run that fast" all the while laughing.  I heard Daddy say that lunch would be ready in 45 minutes.  I hope that's a long time because the fun was just getting started.  I remembered that I left Candy on the table so I yelled back to Daddy to please take care of her.  He said," O.K. as long as she doesn't start crying for you",  I told him to give her a pacifier if she does.  He nodded and waved us on.  There were other children playing at the water's edge and I was happy there was another little girl to play with.  I walked up to her and said,"Hi, what's your name?"  she said,"Vicki, I'm 5"  I said,"I'm 5 too and my name is Stephanie".  She asked me what I wanted to play and I told her I wanted to search for pretty rocks.  She had a bucket but she had shells in it.  She said, "If you find a shell, give it to me and if I find a pretty rock, I'll give it to you".  I agreed and our hunt began.  While we were hunting for our treasures we talked about school and toys and books.  I showed Vicki the sore I had on my hand and she showed me the sore on her knee.  It was bigger than mine and still had a band-aid on it!  I made a mental note to ask Mama for one out of the first-aid kit when we go back for lunch.

 

Mama and Curty were playing with his sailboat in the water.  He said he was going to sail it to Europe.  The story we heard, last night before bed, was about sailing across the English Channel.  Curty asked Daddy while he was reading, where the English Channel was and Daddy told us in Europe.  Daddy whistled his special whistle to let us know lunch was ready.  I really hated to stop my hunt but I was feeling hungry and I really needed to get a band-aid on my hand.  I told Vicki, "bye" and we all headed back to the picnic table.  Candy was waiting there for me and Daddy said he didn't hear a peep out of her.  She is such a good baby.  I gave her a kiss.
We sat down for our lunch, blessed our food and ate it up.  Those hot dogs and hamburgers were so good.  When we finished, Mama gave me a band-aid and asked me if I was alright. I told her yes but I needed the band-aid.  My brother took his drum out and started marching around the table and beating the drum.  Daddy was tapping on the table and encouraging him to "march, march, march".  I was ready to go find Vicki so that we could hunt some more and to show her my band-aid.  When we returned to the water's edge Vicki was nowhere to be found, I was sad and didn't want to hunt anymore.  When it started getting dark, Daddy picked me up and said it was time for us to go home.  I laid my head on his shoulder and said O.K., I was a really tired.
  Curty, Candy and I sat in the back seat, Daddy and Mama loaded up the car and I heard Daddy say,' Friedrich Froebel was right when he said," a child who plays thoroughly and perseveringly, until physical fatigue forbids, will be a determined adult, capable of self sacrifice both for his own welfare and that of others" and our children played thoroughly, don't you think'? I didn't know what he mean't but it sounded good.  My Daddy is so smart. Mama likes poems and I drifted off as her quiet voice said, " Child, though I am meant to teach you much,what is it, in the end, except that together we are meant to be children of the same Father, and I must unlearn all the adult structure and the cumbering years and you must teach me to look at the earth and the heaven with your fresh wonder".  I thought, all in all this was a real fun day.

Refernces:

Arnold, J.C (2000) Endangered Rifton, NY: Plough Publishing

Play in the 21st century seems much more planned, as if part of a calendar of events for children.  Parents plan playdates for their children instead of the activity being spontaneous and natural.  I do feel it is different because children are not as safe as in time past.  There are people who want to harm children, in the worst way, so parents have to be extra cautious when allowing their children time to play.  My hope is that the dangers that keep children from truly playing will be alleviated so that childhood can be the fun adventure it was meant to be can be again.
Play has always been important to me.  It allowed for a release of energy and creativity that gave me joy.  It still does.  I play with my 1 and 2 year old nephews laughing at and with them during the time we are playing.  I play games with my family and friends and I really don't mind losing, although they don't know it.  I play with Polo, my dog and miss playing with him when he goes out of town with my daughter.  Play keeps me young and happy.

Relationship Reflection

Relationships are paramount in a person's life.  We need other people in our lives to help us understand, cope, share it's ups and downs.  Relationships make it possible to view the world through different lenses. We need to be held touched, cared for and cared about and vice versa. That can only happen through  the relationships we form with others.The following people mean the world to me.

This is a picture of my daughter and my husband.  Life, for me, is so much better with them in it.  My husband, Larry, is a wonderful man.  We have been together 34 years.  We dated 6 years before we got married. We've been married 28 years.  I met him in January 1977, we went on our first date in February and on March 26, 1977, I suffered a stroke which paralyzed me on my right side.  I had only known him 3 months but he came to the hospital everyday, except one, due to his father being ill, to visit me from March until June!!! I knew then that anybody who would stay by your side at your lowest point was a keeper.  He had been in a marriage that ended badly and he was not anxious to remarry but I was patient.  I knew that with enough time and finally an ultimatime he'd come around to my way of thinking and on August 6, 1983 he did.    My daughter, Lauren, is the joy of my life.  When I gave birth to her,on March 13, 1986, I formed a relationship unlike any other I had ever known.  I'm not often at a loss for words, but only God can understand the love I have for my child.  It's unconditional, it's accepting, it's total.  I was only able to give birth to one child, but I have two children.

Julia, came in the package with my Husband and I love her too.  She had a hard time accepting me at first.  She was only 6 years old when her Daddy and I started dating.  He had custody of her and the sun rose and set on him for her.  She felt I was an interloper keeping her Mom and Dad from getting back together.  I took my time and allowed her to get to know me.  I showed her I could only add to her life, not take away from it.  She finally came around too,she is now 40years old, married and she blessed us with 2 super Grandsons, Casey and Jeffery (I would include their pictures but I don't have any recent ones of them).

This is my Pastor and his Wife.  He is not only my spiritual leader we are friends.  Knowing the both of them has helped me put who they are in proper perspective.  Many times, Pastors are placed on a pedestal and people think they can do no wrong.  My Pastor and especially his wife are "Down to Earth" people.  We go out together as couples, they come to our house for dinner, play dominoes and even partake in a little libations now and then.She is funny and he is fun and I love being around them.

These are some of the children at my church.  I am the Director of Christian Education at my church and I hold myself accountable to leading and guiding them in the way God expects.  I love being around their energy and the zest for life they all have.

This is Polo, my Westie.  He keeps me healthy because he has to have at least 2 mile long walks a day.  He makes me laugh with his antics and he accepts me no matter what I say or do.  He just loves me and I love him too.

The most important relationship I have is with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Without him there would be no meaning in the other relationships I have.  Knowing Him has taught me to be open to relationships.  Without Him, I would not have the child, I was told I could never have by doctors.  Without Him, showing me the man I would marry and giving me the patience to wait, I wouldn't be in a stable loving partnership.

The insights I've gained regarding challenges to developing and maintaining these relationships are that not all of them were easy to establish and it was harder than I thought to keep them viable.  It takes hard but rewarding work to keep relationships on an even keel and sometimes they waiver but they are worth the effort to keep them up.

The special characteristics of these relationships are they took time to develop, they have longevity, they mean as much to those in the relationships as they do to me and there would be a void in my life if any of them weren't there.

I know the difficulty in forming relationships and having continuity in them.  As an Early Childhood  professional I am cognizant that relationships have to be formed, for the survival of the children we all serve.  Parents need to form relationships with the caregivers of their children because they are leaving the most precious possession they have with them and a level of trust has to be established.  Caregivers need to form relationships with the Parents because they will be with the child most of the day and they have to know what is best for that child and Parents have that information.  When a Parent is asked questions and time is taken to get to know the family and address their needs, then a relationship that is hopefully mutually satisfying can happen.

Please listen to this song as a close to this post.  http://youtu.be/GhOap2Vldaw .