Saturday, December 10, 2011

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression- I didn't know I felt like that!

When my niece "came out", I felt disappointment.  I didn't know I felt like that.

When my brother married a white woman, I felt he was a "lost brother".  I didn't know I felt like that.

When my daughter weighed over 250lbs., I felt disgusted.  I didn't know I felt like that.

When another niece had 3 babies in 2 years, by the time she turned 21, I thought she was stupid.  I didn't know I felt like that.

When my aged mother-in-law moved in with us and needed constant attention.  I felt her old age was a nuisance.  I didn't know felt like that.

Fortunately, maturity and life's lessons changed my thoughts and feelings of those emotions. Those bias', prejudices and oppressive behaviors no longer exist for me.

My niece, who happens to be a lesbian, is beautiful and talented.  Who she chooses to love, is her business. This is how I feel.
My brother is open and honest.  Who he chooses to love is his business.  This is how I feel.
My daughter is full figured and a big beautiful woman, the more to love.  This is how I feel.
My niece has 3 healthy, happy sons who bring joy and happiness to our whole family.   She continues taking college courses, takes care of her husband, her children and her house.  She astounds me with all she can do.  This is how I feel.
My mother-in-law raised 3 children who are wonderful, law abiding, God loving and faithful.  She deserves to be cared for. A mother can take care of 3 children and now it's time for those 3 children to take care of their 1 mother.  This is how I feel.

People who harbor the toxicity of bias', prejudices and oppression do a disservice to themselves.  Life is full of diversity and opportunities to live and learn through them.  I'm glad I'm open to the experience.


  1. Your post really touched me and addressed similar feelings within in me as it pertained to the same issues you raised. It is those silent feelings that we keep regarding those that are different as well as behaviors that are different from our own that allow prejudices and biases to exist within our own hearts. I do agree, we cannot change others, we can allow them to live the way the choose and find a way to be in their life, recognizing the true beauty of the relationship and their contribution to our life Thank you!

  2. Stephanie-

    Through this course I think we are all having to look at a side of ourselves that is not as pretty as we would like. One thing my mother always taught us kids was that the best way to learn was through self reflection and making mistakes. It sounds like you have been through that process. All we can do is to accept other for themselves and love them.

  3. Stephanie,

    This is a very powerful post. I think alot of times we do not know how we would feel in certain situations until truely faced by them. I would like to think that I could be open to all. Nicely done.

    Thanks for sharing.