Friday, June 10, 2011

My Supports

When I think about my supports I go first to my faith. I am totally committed to God and His Son Jesus Christ.  The dictionary gives the definitions of support as"To provide a basis for existence" "To hold up or serve as a foundation".  He is why I exist.  The foundation of who I am and why I do what I do comes from my faith.  I treat others as I want to be treated. My church supports me in the way I am respected for my leadership roles there.  As Director of Christian Education, I get support from our church district when I want to present activities to our children.  The Parents support me by entrusting me with their children. When my husband got laid-off from his job and our youngest daughter's college tuition was due, my church supported me financially.

My Mother, who is deceased, is still a support to me.  The advice she gave me about life, the example she set and the love she gave helped me become the woman I am today.  I still feel her presence when I'm going through difficult times and I hear her voice when I am trying to make difficult decisions. She was a natural supporter.  As a nurse, she helped others daily and for 48 years of my life she gave me balance.

The love of my life and a major player in supporting me, is my husband, Larry.  We've been married for 28 years.  He's been here for me through good and bad times. He is disabled now but his support is will always be valuable.  He is committed to God, to me and his family.  He is a good husband, father, grandfather, son, brother and support to those who know him .  Another definition of support is "To promote the interests or cause of, to uphold or defend as valid or right".  Larry does all that for me. When he was laid-off, he didn't hang his head and think"poor me".  He did odd jobs to keep us financially solvent.  He had to have both his knees and hips replaced which caused his disability but he is as active as he can be.  We have date nights every Friday, we go dancing, we take trips and we laugh and giggle like teenagers.  I can count on dinner being ready when I arrive home  from work.  He does the laundry and he is a support to his Mother who is in a wheelchair by going to prepare her lunch daily and running errands for her.  He is a wonderful provider, support and man.
 My daughters probably think I am more of a support to them than they are to me however, they support me more than they know.  When I am down, they lift my spirits.  When I am sick, they take care of me.  When I have difficulty with technology, they guide me through the maze. Add another definition to support and it is "assist and help". When I enrolled in school, they cheered me on.  When I complain about the work they encourage me.  They are also in school so the support moves back and forth constantly between us.  Lauren has a wonderful sense of humor and she keeps me laughing. She is a very loving and giving young woman who has Luke 12:48b tattooed on her back.  I was a little bothered by her getting a tattoo but I couldn't object to what it says and means.   Julia is technologically adept and I can call on her for most of my computer issues.  She seems to be in her element when one of the family is ill.  She takes over the care and does it well. She is a great mother to my Grandsons and a woman growing in her faith.  As a child, she was abandoned by her biological Mother but instead of bitterness she is supportive of her family.

 Polo supports me staying healthy. We play, he needs to walk, he wakes up, he needs a walk.  When I arrive home he's ready for a walk.  Everytime I open the door he thinks it's time for a walk.  It looks like I'm more of a support to him than he is to me, but I think of him as a support.

 My other supports are my job, which offers financial security and an added purpose to my life.  Spending time with the children  and knowing what I do daily to impact the lives of those children and thier families supports my calling in life.

My co-workers and those I network with in the Child Development field support my vision in the work we do for those who depend on us to provide quality care.  The support comes in various forms, such as supporting my professional development, being a sounding board for issues, backing issues through advocacy and supporting changes I ask them to do in their classrooms.

The benefits to having these supports in my life are they keep me grounded and focused.  I know that whatever I do, I won't be judged by them.  I have no fear when they are with me and/or when I am with them. 

The impact of losing any of these supports would vary in severity.  I thought when I lost my mother, my life would be over.  She gave birth to me, she nutured and guided me through life.  She taught me how to be a mother.  She also taught me how to stay strong and not give up when adversity hits you in the face and that is exactly what I felt happened with her death.  She taught me to stand strong.

The worst I can image is the worst I've already experienced and that was the death of my Mother.  Everything else pales in the face of that event. I cringe at the thought of losing any of my other familial supports but since the one support I have that will never leave me will always be part of my life, my relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I know His support will help me through.  I just pray I never have to find out.  I have lost jobs I loved, and I survived.  I have lost friends, through, moving, disagreements and death, and I survived.  I have lost my health and I regained it through the support of family and the health professionals who supported me. All the supports in my life have value and I understand the need for each one of them.

I'll need support from others, when the loss and gain happens.  My friends, co-workers, other family members will be available for the emotional support I need.  I know this because they are here for me now.  I have surrounded myself with good, loving supportive people, who love me, want the best for me and support me.

 This is my daughter Julia, my grandsons, Jeffery, Casey and son-in-law Jeff.  I couldn't leave them out because they are also members of my "Support System".  A system that is defined as "A network of people, an individual with practical or emotional support". 
You have just met my "Support System" and may God continue to bless them all.


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  1. Stephanie,
    I really enjoyed reading your post, you are blessed to have such a suportive family in your life. The idea of losing any of familial supports really scares me too, but as you said the relationship with the Lord is the greatest support that a person can have in his life.

  2. Stephanie,
    I loved how you spoke about your mom being a support to you even though she has passed. I think that states what a wonderful nurturing support she was to you when you were growing up that she continues to support you even now! I too feel my children are a support to me even though many adults would look to me as their support. I admire your 28 year marriage! My parents just celebrated their 40th anniversary and I hope to follow in their footsteps! We all have support that is so vital to our lives. Thank you for sharing your story.