I Need You

I always felt a sense of pride in my ability to communicate effectively.  As I journeyed through this course, I found myself lacking in some aspects of communication.  I was more ethically reponsible in my communication skills on my job, than I was with my family members.  I would sit, listen and give feedback all day at work.  At home I'd psuedolisten, multitask, and/or change the subject if the topic was painful to me or my family member attempting to talk to me. People, in my life, trust and respect me to give them my authentic self and this course has helped me give a better "me" to them.

My colleagues have provided me with insight, support and revelations with their comments and feedback.  I've needed all of the input as this journey continues. My contact information is:

Stephanie Higgins
P.O. Box 251 Forney, Texas 75126 (20 miles east of Dallas, if you're wondering)
email:  slsan4d@yahoo.com or stephanie.higgins@waldenu.edu
I also have a Facebook page

Please enjoy the following song as I close this blog.  I wish all of you the best as your journey continues.  Please feel free to contact me if you feel I can help you in any way.


(Please click on the underlined Watch on YouTube after you click on the URL.  Thanks and best wishes to you all.)

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/LnaHTOUigJM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

It is finished ~ Jesus Christ

By the time the team is at the adjournment phase, the leader , who has moved into a more coaching role (Abudi 2010), will bring the group together  for a de-briefing.  What worked well?  Were there any problems?  Where was the most difficulty? Is there something we could have done differently?  How satisfied are we with the outcome?  These questions help to bring closure to the project.



Adjournment of any kind can be a happy occasion or it can be bittersweet.   When working in a high functioning group, the members have come to know each other quite well and the process of adjourning may be difficult but they all know it is necessary.

The project is finished.  How, then do we say good-bye to our colleagues?  In the best case scenario, all the individuals will see each other again.  They may still work in the same location; and having that in common will help ease the transition into the phase of not working on the project.  They may meet for lunch or at the local bar after work.  Sometimes the relationships become more social if they enjoy each other’s company and see they have common interests.

I chose my title, not to offend those with beliefs other than mine, but to illustrate how some projects continue and grow long after the initial group has dispersed.  As a Christian, I look at the team Jesus pulled together –forming (Abudi 2010).  They each had skills and talents necessary for the mission.  There were hot heads, analytical types, team members who didn’t like conflict, assertive types and some doubters and they start to get aquainted with each others personalities, opnions and ideas – storming (Abdui 2010).  Once the team was assembled they started working together, they were focused on the goals.  They started making significant progress as they worked together –norming (Abdui 2010). The group has been commissioned to do the will of their leader and do the day to day work.They know each other quite well, have traveled and went through rough times together; they are interdependent- performing (Abudi 2010).  The leader meets with the group in a garden to bring closure to the first part of the project.  He presents His mission to the world and says, "It is finished."  The group meets, the Leader joins them to adjourn and disperse the group to form other teams to further the original mission - adjourn (Abdui 2010).  

The performing group is the hardest to leave.  We have become interdependent and have gotten to know each other very well. We have spent time together focusing and striving for the same goal and we have enjoyed some good times as well as weathered some hard experiences to get to the finishing line.  There's nothing like shared experiences to bring people together.

I lead a staff development team.  Our closing ritual involved putting a string through a paper plate and hanging the plate behind you with the string around your neck.  Each person had to write something positive about a person on their plate and how they helped on the project.  We used the same colored marker and did not sign our names.  When each person turned their plate around, they read the comments aloud.  After the last person read the comments on their plate, I closed the exercise by saying to the group,"  Be proud, this is what people are saying behind your backs".

We've had to move on from several groups as we journey through our Master's program.  I enjoy the Discussion Boards and our Instructors.  We just start to become comfortable with each other and the 8 weeks end, some return, some don't but I learn something from each of my colleagues.  They will be and are missed but we must move on until we can all say at graduation, "It is finished".

References

Abdui, G. (2010).  The five stages of team development:  A case study  Retrieved from
     http://www.projectsmart.co.uk/the-five-stages-of-team-development-a-case-study.html

John 19:30. King James Version (KJV)[Quote by Jesus Christ] Holy Bible

Are We Understanding Each Other?

I have a part-time job working at a Domestic Violence shelter on weekends.  My supervisor is a nice young lady, who exasperates me to no end.  Why?  She will ask me to do something or tell me something, which I feel I understand.  Then when I do the task or report where she asked me to go, it's all wrong!

An example is, last Sunday she called me and asked if I would work on Wednesday from 6:00pm until 10:00pm because she and the Client Advocate were transporting the clients to a workshop.  She told me she would call me back if the plans changed.

On Wednesday, I arrived at the shelter at 5:50pm and the Client Advocate looked at me strangely and asked why I was there.  I told her our supervisor had asked me on Sunday to come and cover the shelter while they went to a workshop.  She said, "Oh, she didn't call you and tell you it was cancelled?" That question set up a communication climate that was defensive (O'Hair & Wiemann 2009). I asked was that a rhetorical question, since obviously I had reported to work.  It takes 45 min. to drive to the shelter from my home and I was upset that I had made a trip, used my gas and changed my plans for nothing.  I felt this was an unproductive conflict as there was a negative impact (O'Hair & Wiemann 2009) with my use of sarcasm.

One strategy I have used, is the challenging strategy (O'Hair & Wiemann 2009).  I am not confrontational and this strategy is usually not my first choice, but my attitude had provoked that communication climate (O'Hair & Wiemann 2009).  This strategy works when you want the person you are communicating with to know what they did or didn't do has caused you to have your current attitude.  I  went to my supervisor's office and asked her why she didn't call me to let me know the outing was cancelled.  She looked at me and asked why I didn't call to find out if she still needed  me to come to the shelter.  I reminded her that she had promised to call me if the plans changed but that was fine and I started to leave.  I was using the escapist strategy (O'Hair &Wiemann 2009).  I used this strategy to avoid anymore direct conflict. 

One communication channel (O'Hair & Wiemann 2009) I will use with my supervisor, is email.  I told her I would email her, as a compromise (O'Hair & Wiemann 2009) so we would both know the plans.  If we had used that electronic channel (O'Hair & Wiemann 2009), this conflict would not have occurred.

                                                     

Reference

O'Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. (2009).  Real Communication An Introduction Boston, MA: 
     Bedford/St. Martin's