Saturday, March 26, 2011

Journeying through poverty

When children enter this world, they enter with a myriad of needs.  Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs lists the most basic as "Food, water, and shelter".  Little do they know that some of their parents have difficulty just providing those things.  For the millions of children across the developing world, living without clean water, sanitation, health care or enough food, life is difficult (Smidt, 2006).  Often these parents are characterised as inadequate or uncaring, when in reality, they are merely overwhelmed by what life has dealt them (Smidt, 2006).  I work as the Curriculum Coordinator for Vogel Alcove Child Care Center for Homeless Children. I encounter, daily the most vulnerable population in the world of homelessness, the children.  I see parents who have fallen on hard times, not because of something they did or didn't do, but because circumstances handed out a blow.  Lay-offs, closures, foreclosures, jobs moving out of the country, positions being eliminated and so on and on.  This goes to show that "poverty is also an issue in the developing world, and economic policies are ensuring that the divides between rich and poor in the US and Europe are still increasing (Smidt, 2006).
In 1986 when homelessness began to soar in cities across the United States, Dallas was no exception. There were growing numbers of homeless people, including families with young children, living in cars on the streets of Dallas. In response to this dehumanizing social problem two ladies, Thelma Vogel and Doris Budner, responded. Together they organized a group of Jewish organizations called the Dallas Jewish Coalition for the Homeless. It was comprised of 21 Jewish organizations including temples, synagogues, and civic groups, with the purpose to help alleviate the plight of homelessness in Dallas. In September of 1986, the Coalition incorporated in the State of Texas as a private, non-religious, non-profit 501(c)(3) organization.
In order to select the program focus, the Coalition conducted extensive research to study a host of possible programs including housing, healthcare, childcare, and more. When the research was completed, childcare emerged as a major gap in the service delivery network for homeless families in Dallas, and was chosen as the project to be undertaken.
The Alcove Childcare Center for the Homeless began operations in March of 1987 serving 11 children from families residing at the Downtown Family Shelter (now Family Gateway). In the first year of operation, the Alcove served more than 1,000 of the city’s homeless children. But tragedy struck in 1988 when Thelma Vogel and her husband, Phillip, died in a plane crash. Following their death, the childcare program was renamed the Vogel Alcove. The death of the Vogels only served to deepen the resolve of the other leader and co-founder -- Doris Budner. She rose valiantly to the occasion. For the next fifteen years, Doris Budner used her deep humanity, love for children, vision and creativity, and gentle savvy to engage hundreds of others in the cause.
On June 4, 1989, the Alcove moved its services to a new home on Browder Street where it served 60 children daily. Then another move came in 1995 when the current facility was purchased and renovated. This accomplishment increased the daily capacity to 114 children. In June 2003, Doris Budner passed away, leaving an indelible mark on the Vogel Alcove and on all who knew her. In April 2003, the main facility was named the Doris and Lawrence Budner Childcare Center. Today 18 affiliated agencies including emergency shelters, domestic violence shelters, and transitional housing programs, refer families to the Vogel Alcove for free comprehensive services.
The Vogel Alcove remains the primary provider of exemplary childcare, developmental, and social services in the Greater Dallas area (retrieved from website http://vogelalcove.org/history/hmtl).
Thelma Vogel and Doris Budner wanted a safe, secure and nurturing environment for the children and the "ALCOVE" came into existence.  We spend what little time we have with the children, because this is a transient population, helping the children feel love, care, and safe.  We are in the accreditation process through NAEYC because that demonstrates we are providing the best.  So many of our families have been pushed around, and disrespected by a system they fell in to that some of them feel they don't deserve or are not worthy of the best.  I beg to differ. "But by the Grace of God" go I and because I believe that quote with all my heart, I strive to provide an experience of excellence for all of the children and their families.  We offer a comprehensive program that includes Social Services, case management, parenting classes, medical services, dental services and whatever other needs they have we don't provide, we refer them to the providing resources.
I am aware that there is also a "culture of poverty"(Berger, 2009).  I attended college at Eastern Kentucky University.  The school is located at the foothills of Appalachia.  I saw unparalled poverty at times.  Children with little clothes, no shoes, living in unheated shacks.  They had no dental care and their teeth were rotted from poor nutrition.  Their parents could not read or write and they hid themselves from outsiders because of fear.  I couldn't believe as an undergraduate student that people actually lived like that.  It was true then, in the early 1970's and it is true today. Some families have been poor generation after generation.  It is so much apart of their every day lives they can't see any other way of life for them or their children.  Hopefully that myopic view will someday change.
I attended a conference in Boston Mass. in 2009 by Horizon's for Homeless Children and there are some positive things happening to turn, what children have to suffer due to poverty, around.  More school systems and communities are taking up the mantle against poverty.  More people are realizing that, if we give our children, no matter their economic status a good foundation, the cycle of poverty can change.  That is my wish, that is my prayer and as I enter my workplace each morning and see those beautiful, trusting faces, I know I will work to give them the best experiences while they are in my care.

References:

Smidt, S. The Developing Child in the 21st Century A global perspective on child development (2006) NewYork,NY: Routledge

Berger, K.S. (2009) The Developing Person Through Childhood (5th, ed.) New York, NY:  Worth Publishers

http://vogelalcove.org/

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Sweet Milk of Life

Breastfeeding is the most natural and loving thing a mother can do for her child.  I chose this subject because I did it with my child and it was a time that only the two of shared.  I remember when the nurses brought her to me and the total feeling of love I felt when she nuzzled up to my breast.  When I thought she had finished, the nurse would come get her and take her back to the nursery.  After several times of bringing her to me the nurse finally said, "show me how you're feeding your baby".  When I showed her, she smiled and shook her head and told me that was the reason she was being so demanding, she wasn't getting anything, she hadn't "latched on".  I said I thought I was doing it correctly.  The nurse placed my baby in my arms and pushed my breast into her mouth, she "LATCHED-ON" and my toes curled!!!  From that day on, I knew when she was actually nursing.  That time was intimate, private and personal.  We bonded for life.
I had high blood pressure before I conceived, but my pressure stayed normal during my pregnancy.  After giving birth my Doctor saw that my blood pressure was starting to climb, so he prescribed medication to lower it.  He told me that I would have to stop breast feeding my baby because the medication would get in the milk.  I was devastated and refused to put her on a bottle.  At 8 weeks, he told me again to start my medication.  I again refused.  When my daughter was 3 months, my doctor sat me down and said,"Stephanie you can take your medicine and give Lauren a bottle and live to she her grow up; or you can keep refusing to take your medicine, have a stroke or heart attack and die and someone else will give Lauren a bottle.  It's your choice".  I weaned her the following week and started buying Similac.
Research on physical and mental health, on immediate mother-infant bonding, and on long term cognition finds that "breast is best"(Berger, 2009). All doctors, worldwide recommend exclusive breast-feeding for the first 4-6 months(Berger, 2009). I now know that breast feeding may not always be best for the baby.  In my case it was not the best for me.  In some African nations, HIV positive women are encouraged to breast-feed exclusively, because their infants' risk of catching the virus from breast milk is less than their risk from dying from infections, diarrhea or malnutrition as a result of occasional bottle- feeding (Berger, 2009).
Since experiencing those precious moments, nursing my baby and now recalling how wonderful I felt providing the "sweet milk of life" for her, I look forward to providing a private sanctuary at my center for Mothers who want to continue nursing their babies as long as they can.

References:

Berger, K.S. (2009). The Developing Person Through Childhood (5th ed.) New York, NY:  Worth Publishers

Friday, March 4, 2011

My Welcomed Journey Into Motherhood

My journey into Motherhood came in 2 parts.  My 1st journey came as a packaged deal.  My husband had custody of our first daughter when I met him.  She was 6 years old.  I fell in love with her immediately.  I know the feeling wasn't mutual.  She had to now share her Daddy and she had a hard time doing that.  I was patient and gave her time to get to know me and understand that there was no way that I wanted to take her Daddy away from her.  It took 6 years.  When she was 12 years old, her Daddy and I were married and I became her Mom.  I thought that was hard. Little did I know what was in store for me.

Julia at 6 years old
 Julia at 12 years old      
                            




I got married at 30 and wanted to increase our family size immediately.  I went to my OB/GYN after a year of trying and after tests, we were told it would be difficult, if not impossible for me to conceive.  One of my fallopian tubes was completely blocked and the other one was misshapened.  I knew something was wrong because I would go 2-3 months without a menstral cycle.  This problem had always been in my life, since my menstral cycle started at the age of 12. I didn't fully give up on the idea of having a baby, I just gave it to God.
In November of 1985, one of my co-workers was going to get lunch.  She always drank milk with her lunch and that day, I said to her, "Denise, when you get your milk, will you bring me some too; for some strange reason, I have been craving milk".  She looked at me and said,"Stephanie, I'll bet you're pregnant!",  I told her she would lose the bet because I couldn't get pregnant.  I kept thinking about what she had said and then I thought, "hey, I haven't had a period for more than 3 months, and I've been gaining weight!".  That night I went to get a home pregnancy test.  As I was reading the instructions to taking the test, I felt fluttering in my "stomach".  I thought,"I'm just too excited".  While I was waiting for the results, I read on the package that the darker blue the urine turned, the further along you are in your pregnancy.  My urine turned NAVY BLUE!!!!  I immediately called my Mother, a nurse, and asked her about the results, she lost all her professionalism and started screaming for joy.  She put me on a 3-way call with my best friend and we all screamed.  When my husband came home I told him but he said he wouldn't believe it until I had seen my doctor.  I made an appointment for the next day and my doctor told me, "You are not only pregnant, you're almost 5 months pregnant!!!!"  I was overjoyed but a little scared because I had gone nearly 5 months with no prenatal care.  I do remember that during the time before I knew I was pregnant I had developed an aversion to alcohol and fish.  I have always eaten healthy foods and I exercised so I basically didn't do any damage.  My doctor started me on vitamins and took me off my high blood pressure medication because my blood pressure registered normal.
I had a happy pregnancy.  I didn't have morning sickness.  I didn't have swelling, I ate what I craved and I loved my changing body with the life I was carrying in it.  My doctor put me on work furlough 2 months before my due date when my blood pressure started to rise. At 33 years of age, I was the oldest of my friends having a child, at that time.
The morning of March 13, 1986 at 6:00am, my husband pulled out of our driveway to go to work.  That was when the first pain hit.  It was more like a generating pain that started in the middle of my lower back and moved around to the front.  I started timing the pains and by 9:00am, when my doctor's office opened, they were 2 minutes apart.  I called my husband but couldn't get him, so I called my sister-in-law who took me to the doctor's office.  My doctor checked me and said,"It looks like you're having a baby today."  He sent me straight to the hospital.  I was checked in by 10:30am and the waiting game began.  My husband arrived and I asked him was he going in the delivery room with me.  He said no.  I hated him at that moment.  I was hooked up to a fetal monitor and he would warn me that a labor pain was coming.  I hated him some more.  I would cry out to the Lord as I was going through the pain and my husband said,"the Lord is probably getting tired of hearing you."  HATE,HATE,HATE.  At 4:00pm my water hadn't broken so my doctor did the procedure and warned me that the pain would be more intense.  He said I could get an epidural when I had dilated to 4 centimeters.  The nurses came and checked me and when I was at 4 the blessed epidural was administered.  I suddenly became violently ill and vomited all over the nurse.  My doctor checked my baby's heartbeat and it was dropping rapidly.  They put my on oxygen but it didn't help.  My doctor told me my baby was in distress and he was going to have to perform a c-section.  I was rushed into delivery.  My doctor asked me, "What do you want, a boy or girl?"  I said it didn't matter as long as it was healthy.  He told me that everybody says that but in our hearts we really do have a preference.  I told him that we already had a daughter and that my husband wanted a son.  He said, "I didn't ask you what your husband wanted, I asked you what you want."  I said, "a girl".  That was the moment, 7:42 pm, he pulled out the most beautiful earthly gift God could have blessed me with, my daughter, Lauren Alease Higgins.  I cried so hard the Anesthesiologist thought I was in pain and asked if I needed medication.  I told him no, that I was just shedding tears of joy for my little miracle.  My husband came in and told me that he had planned to be in the delivery room but after the doctor said I had to have a c-section he was not allowed in.  How could I hate the man who gave me this beautiful baby.  I had to stay in the hospital for a week.  I went home and had to stay in the house for 6 weeks.  My husband did not allow any visitors until the 6 week period was over.

Lauren Alease Higgins - 7days old

I chose to research childbirth traditions of China.  Many of their traditions mirror the "old wives tales" I was told when I was pregnant. "Once pregnant, a woman guards her thoughts.  What affects a woman's mind will also affect her heart and connect with the baby"(Retrieved from http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/labor_birth/birthing-traditions/article/childbirth-traditions-china/ )I was told during my pregnancy not to call anyone ugly because my baby would turn out to be just like the person I was talking about.  The Chinese
believe it is bad luck to throw a baby shower before the baby is born.  They believe that if the Mother eats light colored food, the baby will be fair-skinned.  There is a belief that the baby doesn't get her first bath until the third day of life, which is attended by female friends and relatives.  "After delivery,  Chinese woman, sit the month.  The first month is considered an intense time of healing.  In strict households, even husbands stayed away.""(Retrieved from http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/labor_birth/birthing-traditions/article/childbirth-traditions-china/ )Some of the rituals and traditions are similar to other cultures and some are unique to a specific culture.  They all have there place in the quiltwork of our lives.


My girls today Lauren - 25 years old and Julia  - 40 years old.  They still bring me joy.

Reference:

http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/labor_birth/birthing-traditions/article/childbirth-traditions-china/