My Connections with Play

Yeah, Daddy, Mama, Curty and I are on our way to the lake.  Daddy promised, last week that we were going and now we are on our way.  I remembered to bring Candy, my doll, because she likes to go everywhere with me.  Mama made sure to put some paper and crayons in our "work bag" as well as some puzzles to keep us occupied during our car trip to the lake.  My brother kept digging in the bag looking for  his little drum and his drumsticks.  He loves playing his instrument, but it hurts my ears.  Now we have to stop because Curty didn't use the bathroom before we left the house and he's wiggling and saying, "Mama, I've got to go". BOYS!!! I start drawing and coloring a picture of the lake to help the time go faster and say, "Daddy, are we there yet"?

                                                                                                                

 

We're here, we're here.  I know I'm only 5 but it seems like it took a long time to get here.  When I grow up, I'm going to drive fast so that I can get to places quickly.  Daddy is unpacking the car, Mama is helping us get out and she's telling Curty to wait to get his sailboat out of our "work bag" until we get to the water.  I wrap Candy up so she doesn't get cold and I whisper in her ear that we are going to have so much fun today.

Daddy opens the cooler and starts pulling the hot dogs and burgers we'll have for lunch out, to grill.  I ask Mama if she'll play with me but she says she has to help Daddy right now.  She says she will play later and to go play with Curty.  We have to play with our puzzles until Mama or Daddy can come to the water with us, so we pull them out and sit at the picnic table and start putting them together.  The puzzles were kind of hard because there are 4 puzzles and the pieces fell out into our bag. We have to figure out which piece goes with which puzzle.  Mama gave us hints, like, " That looks like a wheel, which puzzle has wheels?"  I had to think for a minute and then I remember the car puzzle.  Curty is really fast he found all the pieces to the bird puzzle and put it together.  It only had 3 pieces, the head, the body and the feet and Mama clapped her hands and told him he did a great job! 
When we finished all the puzzles, I dug out my sand bucket, shovel and rake.  Mama was ready to go to the water and my brother grabbed his sailboat.  We ran as fast as we could with Mama yelling, "slow down, I can't run that fast" all the while laughing.  I heard Daddy say that lunch would be ready in 45 minutes.  I hope that's a long time because the fun was just getting started.  I remembered that I left Candy on the table so I yelled back to Daddy to please take care of her.  He said," O.K. as long as she doesn't start crying for you",  I told him to give her a pacifier if she does.  He nodded and waved us on.  There were other children playing at the water's edge and I was happy there was another little girl to play with.  I walked up to her and said,"Hi, what's your name?"  she said,"Vicki, I'm 5"  I said,"I'm 5 too and my name is Stephanie".  She asked me what I wanted to play and I told her I wanted to search for pretty rocks.  She had a bucket but she had shells in it.  She said, "If you find a shell, give it to me and if I find a pretty rock, I'll give it to you".  I agreed and our hunt began.  While we were hunting for our treasures we talked about school and toys and books.  I showed Vicki the sore I had on my hand and she showed me the sore on her knee.  It was bigger than mine and still had a band-aid on it!  I made a mental note to ask Mama for one out of the first-aid kit when we go back for lunch.

 

Mama and Curty were playing with his sailboat in the water.  He said he was going to sail it to Europe.  The story we heard, last night before bed, was about sailing across the English Channel.  Curty asked Daddy while he was reading, where the English Channel was and Daddy told us in Europe.  Daddy whistled his special whistle to let us know lunch was ready.  I really hated to stop my hunt but I was feeling hungry and I really needed to get a band-aid on my hand.  I told Vicki, "bye" and we all headed back to the picnic table.  Candy was waiting there for me and Daddy said he didn't hear a peep out of her.  She is such a good baby.  I gave her a kiss.
We sat down for our lunch, blessed our food and ate it up.  Those hot dogs and hamburgers were so good.  When we finished, Mama gave me a band-aid and asked me if I was alright. I told her yes but I needed the band-aid.  My brother took his drum out and started marching around the table and beating the drum.  Daddy was tapping on the table and encouraging him to "march, march, march".  I was ready to go find Vicki so that we could hunt some more and to show her my band-aid.  When we returned to the water's edge Vicki was nowhere to be found, I was sad and didn't want to hunt anymore.  When it started getting dark, Daddy picked me up and said it was time for us to go home.  I laid my head on his shoulder and said O.K., I was a really tired.
  Curty, Candy and I sat in the back seat, Daddy and Mama loaded up the car and I heard Daddy say,' Friedrich Froebel was right when he said," a child who plays thoroughly and perseveringly, until physical fatigue forbids, will be a determined adult, capable of self sacrifice both for his own welfare and that of others" and our children played thoroughly, don't you think'? I didn't know what he mean't but it sounded good.  My Daddy is so smart. Mama likes poems and I drifted off as her quiet voice said, " Child, though I am meant to teach you much,what is it, in the end, except that together we are meant to be children of the same Father, and I must unlearn all the adult structure and the cumbering years and you must teach me to look at the earth and the heaven with your fresh wonder".  I thought, all in all this was a real fun day.

Refernces:

Arnold, J.C (2000) Endangered Rifton, NY: Plough Publishing

Play in the 21st century seems much more planned, as if part of a calendar of events for children.  Parents plan playdates for their children instead of the activity being spontaneous and natural.  I do feel it is different because children are not as safe as in time past.  There are people who want to harm children, in the worst way, so parents have to be extra cautious when allowing their children time to play.  My hope is that the dangers that keep children from truly playing will be alleviated so that childhood can be the fun adventure it was meant to be can be again.
Play has always been important to me.  It allowed for a release of energy and creativity that gave me joy.  It still does.  I play with my 1 and 2 year old nephews laughing at and with them during the time we are playing.  I play games with my family and friends and I really don't mind losing, although they don't know it.  I play with Polo, my dog and miss playing with him when he goes out of town with my daughter.  Play keeps me young and happy.

Relationship Reflection

Relationships are paramount in a person's life.  We need other people in our lives to help us understand, cope, share it's ups and downs.  Relationships make it possible to view the world through different lenses. We need to be held touched, cared for and cared about and vice versa. That can only happen through  the relationships we form with others.The following people mean the world to me.

This is a picture of my daughter and my husband.  Life, for me, is so much better with them in it.  My husband, Larry, is a wonderful man.  We have been together 34 years.  We dated 6 years before we got married. We've been married 28 years.  I met him in January 1977, we went on our first date in February and on March 26, 1977, I suffered a stroke which paralyzed me on my right side.  I had only known him 3 months but he came to the hospital everyday, except one, due to his father being ill, to visit me from March until June!!! I knew then that anybody who would stay by your side at your lowest point was a keeper.  He had been in a marriage that ended badly and he was not anxious to remarry but I was patient.  I knew that with enough time and finally an ultimatime he'd come around to my way of thinking and on August 6, 1983 he did.    My daughter, Lauren, is the joy of my life.  When I gave birth to her,on March 13, 1986, I formed a relationship unlike any other I had ever known.  I'm not often at a loss for words, but only God can understand the love I have for my child.  It's unconditional, it's accepting, it's total.  I was only able to give birth to one child, but I have two children.

Julia, came in the package with my Husband and I love her too.  She had a hard time accepting me at first.  She was only 6 years old when her Daddy and I started dating.  He had custody of her and the sun rose and set on him for her.  She felt I was an interloper keeping her Mom and Dad from getting back together.  I took my time and allowed her to get to know me.  I showed her I could only add to her life, not take away from it.  She finally came around too,she is now 40years old, married and she blessed us with 2 super Grandsons, Casey and Jeffery (I would include their pictures but I don't have any recent ones of them).

This is my Pastor and his Wife.  He is not only my spiritual leader we are friends.  Knowing the both of them has helped me put who they are in proper perspective.  Many times, Pastors are placed on a pedestal and people think they can do no wrong.  My Pastor and especially his wife are "Down to Earth" people.  We go out together as couples, they come to our house for dinner, play dominoes and even partake in a little libations now and then.She is funny and he is fun and I love being around them.

These are some of the children at my church.  I am the Director of Christian Education at my church and I hold myself accountable to leading and guiding them in the way God expects.  I love being around their energy and the zest for life they all have.

This is Polo, my Westie.  He keeps me healthy because he has to have at least 2 mile long walks a day.  He makes me laugh with his antics and he accepts me no matter what I say or do.  He just loves me and I love him too.

The most important relationship I have is with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  Without him there would be no meaning in the other relationships I have.  Knowing Him has taught me to be open to relationships.  Without Him, I would not have the child, I was told I could never have by doctors.  Without Him, showing me the man I would marry and giving me the patience to wait, I wouldn't be in a stable loving partnership.

The insights I've gained regarding challenges to developing and maintaining these relationships are that not all of them were easy to establish and it was harder than I thought to keep them viable.  It takes hard but rewarding work to keep relationships on an even keel and sometimes they waiver but they are worth the effort to keep them up.

The special characteristics of these relationships are they took time to develop, they have longevity, they mean as much to those in the relationships as they do to me and there would be a void in my life if any of them weren't there.

I know the difficulty in forming relationships and having continuity in them.  As an Early Childhood  professional I am cognizant that relationships have to be formed, for the survival of the children we all serve.  Parents need to form relationships with the caregivers of their children because they are leaving the most precious possession they have with them and a level of trust has to be established.  Caregivers need to form relationships with the Parents because they will be with the child most of the day and they have to know what is best for that child and Parents have that information.  When a Parent is asked questions and time is taken to get to know the family and address their needs, then a relationship that is hopefully mutually satisfying can happen.

Please listen to this song as a close to this post.  http://youtu.be/GhOap2Vldaw .

The Greatest Love of All

As this course ends, I am posting this song to remind myself that during my journey through this life, that God has so gloriously blessed me with, that my purpose is to make the lives of children as loving and rich with experiences that I can.

The Standardize Test Dilemma

When I was in elementary school, we had standardized testing 2 times a year, in the fall and in the spring.  As a child I was a little nervous and somewhat stressed but never like the children today.  I still had the opportunity to learn Geography.  My teachers would pretend we were going on a trip and we would have to find where we were going on a map of the United States or a World Map.  We would have competitions with each other and could win a globe.  Science gave us chances to do experiments.  English exposed us to writing poetry, spelling bees, studying great writers and their works, recitations and so much more.  Standardized testing has swelled and mutated, like a creature in one of those old horror movies, to the point that it now threatens to swallow our schools whole (Kohn,A. 2000).
From the moment school starts in the fall of the year, teachers teach to the test!  They are familiar with what will be on the test and they live in fear that if their students don't do well, their jobs may be in jeopardy.  I can remember attending a conference and Barbara Bowman, who help found the Erikson Institute, and who has had a great impact in the Chicago school system told a story about standardized test.  She said a group of inner-city children were shown a boy riding a bike down a street with saddlebags full of newspapers in them.
The same picture was shown to children who lived in the suburbs.  When these children were asked if the boy riding the bike was working or playing, the inner-city children said playing.  The suburban children said working.  The correct answer was working.  Why did the inner-city children say playing?  Many of them didn't have a bike and they didn't see newspapers being delivered in their neighborhood, so they didn't see the connections of the papers in the saddlebags.  So who gets hurt by these practices?  Students from low-income and minority group backgrounds are more likely to be retained in grade, placed in a lower track, or put in special or remedial programs when it is not necessary (Retrieved from http:fairtest.org/facts/howharm.htm).  As an Education Specialist for Head Start, I accompanied a group of children, who were transitioning into Kindergarten, on a field trip to the neighborhood school they would be attending in the fall.  The children were placed in the various Kindergarten classrooms and the Principal pulled all of the Head Start staff, there, into his office.  He then went into this speech about how we were not preparing the children for school. "They come here and they don't know how to read, they want to just get up without raising their hands, they just blurt out answers, all they want to do is play and that is not what they are here to do."  I had to speak up at that moment and inform him that as important as academics are, we help develop the whole child.  When a child can function well socially, emotionally, physically, and academically, then we can feel assured that the child will be successful.  These are the things that should be assessed and measured when looking at the whole child.  We empower the children, we give them choices, they know how to make friends and to speak up for themselves and what was wrong with that?  He did not have an answer but my heart sank because I could see that our children were going to be regimented and/or labeled because they didn't conform to "Big School".
Our children are tested to an extent that is unprecedented in our history and unparalled anywhere else in the world (Kohn, A. 2000).  Tests are given more frequently and they play a prominent role in schooling (Kohn,A. 2000).  Children are so hyped up for tests now they have anxiety attacks.  My Niece, who was an "A" student would lose sleep before each State test.  She could not test well and almost had a major breakdown her Senior year because if she didn't pass the test, she would not be able to graduate.  She passed it but many of her friends did not, could not march with their class and had to take the test during the summer and if they passed it that time, their diploma would be mailed to them.  How humiliating and dehumanizing.
When looking at stadardized testing in other countries,“For example, schools in England have only two or three core subjects in the curriculum, whereas in Finnish schools there is more of a broad focus that includes the social arts, based on the belief that the success of individuals is not solely achieved through the instruction of only math and sciences. The whole education system in Finland, from kindergarten to Grade 12, has no high-stakes external testing system,” (Retrieved from http://davidwarlick.com/2cents/?p=1843).  This only goes to tell us that Standardized-test scores often measure superficial thinking (Kohn, A. 2000).  So what, you may ask, is the dilemma?
The test may be biased, the families who can afford "test-prep" materials will have their children better prepared, the quality of instruction declines most for those who have the least, many educators are leaving the field because of what is being done to schools in the name of accountability and tougher standards, vitually all specialist condemn the practice of giving tests to children younger than 8 or 9 years old and norm-referenced tests were never intended to measure the quality of learning or teaching (Kohn, A. 2000).
I feel it is time that we take a hard and serious look at stadardized testing and move toward some type of reform throughout the United States so that school can be fun and enjoyable again for students and teachers.

References:

Kohn, A. 2000 Standardized Testing and Its Victims Education Week  Retrieved from http://www.alfiekohn.org/teaching/edweek/staiv.htm

Retrieved from http://fairtest.org/facts/howharm.htm

Retrieved from http://davidwarlick.com/2cents/?p=1843

Journeying through poverty

When children enter this world, they enter with a myriad of needs.  Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs lists the most basic as "Food, water, and shelter".  Little do they know that some of their parents have difficulty just providing those things.  For the millions of children across the developing world, living without clean water, sanitation, health care or enough food, life is difficult (Smidt, 2006).  Often these parents are characterised as inadequate or uncaring, when in reality, they are merely overwhelmed by what life has dealt them (Smidt, 2006).  I work as the Curriculum Coordinator for Vogel Alcove Child Care Center for Homeless Children. I encounter, daily the most vulnerable population in the world of homelessness, the children.  I see parents who have fallen on hard times, not because of something they did or didn't do, but because circumstances handed out a blow.  Lay-offs, closures, foreclosures, jobs moving out of the country, positions being eliminated and so on and on.  This goes to show that "poverty is also an issue in the developing world, and economic policies are ensuring that the divides between rich and poor in the US and Europe are still increasing (Smidt, 2006).
In 1986 when homelessness began to soar in cities across the United States, Dallas was no exception. There were growing numbers of homeless people, including families with young children, living in cars on the streets of Dallas. In response to this dehumanizing social problem two ladies, Thelma Vogel and Doris Budner, responded. Together they organized a group of Jewish organizations called the Dallas Jewish Coalition for the Homeless. It was comprised of 21 Jewish organizations including temples, synagogues, and civic groups, with the purpose to help alleviate the plight of homelessness in Dallas. In September of 1986, the Coalition incorporated in the State of Texas as a private, non-religious, non-profit 501(c)(3) organization.
In order to select the program focus, the Coalition conducted extensive research to study a host of possible programs including housing, healthcare, childcare, and more. When the research was completed, childcare emerged as a major gap in the service delivery network for homeless families in Dallas, and was chosen as the project to be undertaken.
The Alcove Childcare Center for the Homeless began operations in March of 1987 serving 11 children from families residing at the Downtown Family Shelter (now Family Gateway). In the first year of operation, the Alcove served more than 1,000 of the city’s homeless children. But tragedy struck in 1988 when Thelma Vogel and her husband, Phillip, died in a plane crash. Following their death, the childcare program was renamed the Vogel Alcove. The death of the Vogels only served to deepen the resolve of the other leader and co-founder -- Doris Budner. She rose valiantly to the occasion. For the next fifteen years, Doris Budner used her deep humanity, love for children, vision and creativity, and gentle savvy to engage hundreds of others in the cause.
On June 4, 1989, the Alcove moved its services to a new home on Browder Street where it served 60 children daily. Then another move came in 1995 when the current facility was purchased and renovated. This accomplishment increased the daily capacity to 114 children. In June 2003, Doris Budner passed away, leaving an indelible mark on the Vogel Alcove and on all who knew her. In April 2003, the main facility was named the Doris and Lawrence Budner Childcare Center. Today 18 affiliated agencies including emergency shelters, domestic violence shelters, and transitional housing programs, refer families to the Vogel Alcove for free comprehensive services.
The Vogel Alcove remains the primary provider of exemplary childcare, developmental, and social services in the Greater Dallas area (retrieved from website http://vogelalcove.org/history/hmtl).
Thelma Vogel and Doris Budner wanted a safe, secure and nurturing environment for the children and the "ALCOVE" came into existence.  We spend what little time we have with the children, because this is a transient population, helping the children feel love, care, and safe.  We are in the accreditation process through NAEYC because that demonstrates we are providing the best.  So many of our families have been pushed around, and disrespected by a system they fell in to that some of them feel they don't deserve or are not worthy of the best.  I beg to differ. "But by the Grace of God" go I and because I believe that quote with all my heart, I strive to provide an experience of excellence for all of the children and their families.  We offer a comprehensive program that includes Social Services, case management, parenting classes, medical services, dental services and whatever other needs they have we don't provide, we refer them to the providing resources.
I am aware that there is also a "culture of poverty"(Berger, 2009).  I attended college at Eastern Kentucky University.  The school is located at the foothills of Appalachia.  I saw unparalled poverty at times.  Children with little clothes, no shoes, living in unheated shacks.  They had no dental care and their teeth were rotted from poor nutrition.  Their parents could not read or write and they hid themselves from outsiders because of fear.  I couldn't believe as an undergraduate student that people actually lived like that.  It was true then, in the early 1970's and it is true today. Some families have been poor generation after generation.  It is so much apart of their every day lives they can't see any other way of life for them or their children.  Hopefully that myopic view will someday change.
I attended a conference in Boston Mass. in 2009 by Horizon's for Homeless Children and there are some positive things happening to turn, what children have to suffer due to poverty, around.  More school systems and communities are taking up the mantle against poverty.  More people are realizing that, if we give our children, no matter their economic status a good foundation, the cycle of poverty can change.  That is my wish, that is my prayer and as I enter my workplace each morning and see those beautiful, trusting faces, I know I will work to give them the best experiences while they are in my care.

References:

Smidt, S. The Developing Child in the 21st Century A global perspective on child development (2006) NewYork,NY: Routledge

Berger, K.S. (2009) The Developing Person Through Childhood (5th, ed.) New York, NY:  Worth Publishers

http://vogelalcove.org/

Sweet Milk of Life

Breastfeeding is the most natural and loving thing a mother can do for her child.  I chose this subject because I did it with my child and it was a time that only the two of shared.  I remember when the nurses brought her to me and the total feeling of love I felt when she nuzzled up to my breast.  When I thought she had finished, the nurse would come get her and take her back to the nursery.  After several times of bringing her to me the nurse finally said, "show me how you're feeding your baby".  When I showed her, she smiled and shook her head and told me that was the reason she was being so demanding, she wasn't getting anything, she hadn't "latched on".  I said I thought I was doing it correctly.  The nurse placed my baby in my arms and pushed my breast into her mouth, she "LATCHED-ON" and my toes curled!!!  From that day on, I knew when she was actually nursing.  That time was intimate, private and personal.  We bonded for life.
I had high blood pressure before I conceived, but my pressure stayed normal during my pregnancy.  After giving birth my Doctor saw that my blood pressure was starting to climb, so he prescribed medication to lower it.  He told me that I would have to stop breast feeding my baby because the medication would get in the milk.  I was devastated and refused to put her on a bottle.  At 8 weeks, he told me again to start my medication.  I again refused.  When my daughter was 3 months, my doctor sat me down and said,"Stephanie you can take your medicine and give Lauren a bottle and live to she her grow up; or you can keep refusing to take your medicine, have a stroke or heart attack and die and someone else will give Lauren a bottle.  It's your choice".  I weaned her the following week and started buying Similac.
Research on physical and mental health, on immediate mother-infant bonding, and on long term cognition finds that "breast is best"(Berger, 2009). All doctors, worldwide recommend exclusive breast-feeding for the first 4-6 months(Berger, 2009). I now know that breast feeding may not always be best for the baby.  In my case it was not the best for me.  In some African nations, HIV positive women are encouraged to breast-feed exclusively, because their infants' risk of catching the virus from breast milk is less than their risk from dying from infections, diarrhea or malnutrition as a result of occasional bottle- feeding (Berger, 2009).
Since experiencing those precious moments, nursing my baby and now recalling how wonderful I felt providing the "sweet milk of life" for her, I look forward to providing a private sanctuary at my center for Mothers who want to continue nursing their babies as long as they can.

References:

Berger, K.S. (2009). The Developing Person Through Childhood (5th ed.) New York, NY:  Worth Publishers

My Welcomed Journey Into Motherhood

My journey into Motherhood came in 2 parts.  My 1st journey came as a packaged deal.  My husband had custody of our first daughter when I met him.  She was 6 years old.  I fell in love with her immediately.  I know the feeling wasn't mutual.  She had to now share her Daddy and she had a hard time doing that.  I was patient and gave her time to get to know me and understand that there was no way that I wanted to take her Daddy away from her.  It took 6 years.  When she was 12 years old, her Daddy and I were married and I became her Mom.  I thought that was hard. Little did I know what was in store for me.

Julia at 6 years old

 Julia at 12 years old      

                            

I got married at 30 and wanted to increase our family size immediately.  I went to my OB/GYN after a year of trying and after tests, we were told it would be difficult, if not impossible for me to conceive.  One of my fallopian tubes was completely blocked and the other one was misshapened.  I knew something was wrong because I would go 2-3 months without a menstral cycle.  This problem had always been in my life, since my menstral cycle started at the age of 12. I didn't fully give up on the idea of having a baby, I just gave it to God.

In November of 1985, one of my co-workers was going to get lunch.  She always drank milk with her lunch and that day, I said to her, "Denise, when you get your milk, will you bring me some too; for some strange reason, I have been craving milk".  She looked at me and said,"Stephanie, I'll bet you're pregnant!",  I told her she would lose the bet because I couldn't get pregnant.  I kept thinking about what she had said and then I thought, "hey, I haven't had a period for more than 3 months, and I've been gaining weight!".  That night I went to get a home pregnancy test.  As I was reading the instructions to taking the test, I felt fluttering in my "stomach".  I thought,"I'm just too excited".  While I was waiting for the results, I read on the package that the darker blue the urine turned, the further along you are in your pregnancy.  My urine turned NAVY BLUE!!!!  I immediately called my Mother, a nurse, and asked her about the results, she lost all her professionalism and started screaming for joy.  She put me on a 3-way call with my best friend and we all screamed.  When my husband came home I told him but he said he wouldn't believe it until I had seen my doctor.  I made an appointment for the next day and my doctor told me, "You are not only pregnant, you're almost 5 months pregnant!!!!"  I was overjoyed but a little scared because I had gone nearly 5 months with no prenatal care.  I do remember that during the time before I knew I was pregnant I had developed an aversion to alcohol and fish.  I have always eaten healthy foods and I exercised so I basically didn't do any damage.  My doctor started me on vitamins and took me off my high blood pressure medication because my blood pressure registered normal.
I had a happy pregnancy.  I didn't have morning sickness.  I didn't have swelling, I ate what I craved and I loved my changing body with the life I was carrying in it.  My doctor put me on work furlough 2 months before my due date when my blood pressure started to rise. At 33 years of age, I was the oldest of my friends having a child, at that time.

The morning of March 13, 1986 at 6:00am, my husband pulled out of our driveway to go to work.  That was when the first pain hit.  It was more like a generating pain that started in the middle of my lower back and moved around to the front.  I started timing the pains and by 9:00am, when my doctor's office opened, they were 2 minutes apart.  I called my husband but couldn't get him, so I called my sister-in-law who took me to the doctor's office.  My doctor checked me and said,"It looks like you're having a baby today."  He sent me straight to the hospital.  I was checked in by 10:30am and the waiting game began.  My husband arrived and I asked him was he going in the delivery room with me.  He said no.  I hated him at that moment.  I was hooked up to a fetal monitor and he would warn me that a labor pain was coming.  I hated him some more.  I would cry out to the Lord as I was going through the pain and my husband said,"the Lord is probably getting tired of hearing you."  HATE,HATE,HATE.  At 4:00pm my water hadn't broken so my doctor did the procedure and warned me that the pain would be more intense.  He said I could get an epidural when I had dilated to 4 centimeters.  The nurses came and checked me and when I was at 4 the blessed epidural was administered.  I suddenly became violently ill and vomited all over the nurse.  My doctor checked my baby's heartbeat and it was dropping rapidly.  They put my on oxygen but it didn't help.  My doctor told me my baby was in distress and he was going to have to perform a c-section.  I was rushed into delivery.  My doctor asked me, "What do you want, a boy or girl?"  I said it didn't matter as long as it was healthy.  He told me that everybody says that but in our hearts we really do have a preference.  I told him that we already had a daughter and that my husband wanted a son.  He said, "I didn't ask you what your husband wanted, I asked you what you want."  I said, "a girl".  That was the moment, 7:42 pm, he pulled out the most beautiful earthly gift God could have blessed me with, my daughter, Lauren Alease Higgins.  I cried so hard the Anesthesiologist thought I was in pain and asked if I needed medication.  I told him no, that I was just shedding tears of joy for my little miracle.  My husband came in and told me that he had planned to be in the delivery room but after the doctor said I had to have a c-section he was not allowed in.  How could I hate the man who gave me this beautiful baby.  I had to stay in the hospital for a week.  I went home and had to stay in the house for 6 weeks.  My husband did not allow any visitors until the 6 week period was over.

Lauren Alease Higgins - 7days old

I chose to research childbirth traditions of China.  Many of their traditions mirror the "old wives tales" I was told when I was pregnant. "Once pregnant, a woman guards her thoughts.  What affects a woman's mind will also affect her heart and connect with the baby"(Retrieved from http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/labor_birth/birthing-traditions/article/childbirth-traditions-china/ )I was told during my pregnancy not to call anyone ugly because my baby would turn out to be just like the person I was talking about.  The Chinese
believe it is bad luck to throw a baby shower before the baby is born.  They believe that if the Mother eats light colored food, the baby will be fair-skinned.  There is a belief that the baby doesn't get her first bath until the third day of life, which is attended by female friends and relatives.  "After delivery,  Chinese woman, sit the month.  The first month is considered an intense time of healing.  In strict households, even husbands stayed away.""(Retrieved from http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/labor_birth/birthing-traditions/article/childbirth-traditions-china/ )Some of the rituals and traditions are similar to other cultures and some are unique to a specific culture.  They all have there place in the quiltwork of our lives.

My girls today Lauren - 25 years old and Julia  - 40 years old.  They still bring me joy.

Reference:

http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/labor_birth/birthing-traditions/article/childbirth-traditions-china/